Pay for company & the Trolloping is free
Nov 16th
The next time you hear a woman say “a penny for your thoughts,” make sure she wants to pick your brain and isn’t propositioning you for sex.
A trollop in Leesburg, Florida attempted to bring a new business tactic to the world’s oldest profession. Unfortunately, her test subject was an undercover police officer.
“I don’t take money for sex,” Ashley M. Hollin, 26, told police. “I take money for company, and the sex is free.”
Hollin’s winning strategy was hatched after being arrested for prostitution earlier in the day.
According to a police report, Hollin told the officer she had learned something from her earlier arrest — accept cash for companionship, not sex.
“See, I learned from making the mistake last night with the police. . . . If I do it this way, they can’t get me for it,” Hollin said, according to a police report.
She was promptly arrested on prostitution-related charges.
Florida men must now look elsewhere for a $50 conversation about 18th century poetry and free pussy.
RELATED LINK: Prostitution suspect: ‘I take money for company . . . sex is free’
Fake Pimp-Momma Trollop
Oct 30th
Craigslist is a great way for single people across the country to exchange various bacteria. So imagine the disdain of the men who e-mailed poster lacethong23@yahoo.com, received a phone number, then were rebuffed when they called.
The audacity of this lacethong23@yahoo.com! How dare she toy with the hearts of so many men?
According to New York City’s WCBS, one phone exchange went like this:
Caller: “Hey baby, is this [first name]?”
Person answering phone: “I’m her mother.”
Caller: “Oh, hot lady lives with foxy momma!” (This is an actual quote from WCBS’s transcript.)
Person answering phone: “The hot lady you are referring to is nine years old.”
See, turns out the Craigslist post was [allegedly] written by Margery Tannebaum, a 40-year-old social worker, mother and trollop. Tannenbaum was upset after her daughter got into an argument with a classmate. So she did what any caring trollop mother would do: offer sex to men on Craigslist, then give out the other girl’s name and phone number.
For those wondering: yes, Tannenbaum had been the “classroom mother” for the class including her daughter and the other girl.
Trollop.
RELATED LINK: Mom Accused Of Craigslist Revenge On 9-Year-Old
World Series Trollop
Oct 27th
As America has its eyes set on what is sure to be an exciting World Series between the Philadelphia Phillies and the New York Yankees, people in both cities are clamoring to get tickets. One trollop hailing from Philadelphia, however, got arrested because her idea of a Fall Classic was prostituting herself for an hour or two.
From the news item:
Susan Finkelstein, 43, was charged with prostitution and related offenses after police say she advertised herself as a buxom, blond, die-hard Phillies fan who was desperately seeking World Series tickets and would have sex to get them.
In other words, she was arrested for being both cheap and a whore. You really couldn’t just spring for the tickets? You’d rather let a stranger violate your body instead of racking up a charge card bill?
Look, lady, We’re a strong proponent of woman receiving anal in exchange for tickets to a sporting event. But maybe next time you can go about it in a more discrete fashion. Ask your co-workers and friends if they are willing to give up their seats along the third base line for a romp in the hay. Don’t leave a paper trail if you want to polish your neighbor’s knob for an Eagles wild card game.
For what it’s worth, the woman looks attractive enough to sleep with. But she’d probably only agree to perform outercourse since the only baseball tickets we ever buy are to Pittsburgh Pirates games.
She was charged with soliciting prostitution and related offenses. Though trollopy, we say let the woman screw for tickets and arrest real criminals, like women who give sex in exchange for a sissy sport like soccer.
RELATED LINK: Woman Accused of Offering Sex for World Series Tickets on Craigslist