bridegroomTasha Johnson and Markeith Brown seem like any newlywed couple.  But there’s a terrible twist.  The bride…  is a trollop.

The two were married in Tampa this weekend at the Rusty Pelican, a restaurant whose name sounds like a deviant sex act.  All was going well when, a few hours into the reception, the groom threw some money on the dance floor for children to collect up.

One guest became upset, and the groom and his brother confronted the man, asking him to leave.  A fight broke up, involving a great many of the guests, and police were called to the scene.

So if the money was thrown by the groom and then he and his brother started the fight with another man, why is the bride a trollop?  Easy.  Have you ever heard of a wedding not completely planned by the bride?  She knew about the money.  She caused this.  Despite empirical evidence to the contrary, women are smart.  They know how people are going to react to things.  This bride – no, this TROLLOP – was full aware she was launching a major-league brawl.

Bonus trollop:  the female guest who put the groom’s 74-year-old grandmother in a headlock.

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