Also make sure you’re never date a trollop like an unnamed woman in Pasadena, Texas, who, after a dispute with her former common-law husband, fried up and ate his pet goldfish after a dispute about jewelry.

Police spokesman Vance Mitchell says the man reported on Saturday that the woman took the goldfish from his apartment.  Mitchell says the two argued earlier about some jewelry the man had given her but took back.   She wanted the jewelry returned and apparently got hungry.

Officers who were dispatched to the woman’s home arrived to find four fried goldfish on a plate. The woman said she already ate the other three but could not finish the meal because everything, including goldfish, is bigger in Texas.

No word on the spices used to cook the fish, nor if she put the remaining fish in a doggy bag for officers to take home.

Trollop.

RELATED LINK: Cops: Woman eats ex’s goldfish after spat