Bomb Threat Trollop
Dec 2nd
For years, women have had to deal with a glass ceiling at the work place. A trollop in Miami figured out the best way to bust through it was with a bomb. Or at least the threat of one.
In an attempt to delay a flight that her boss might miss, the unnamed woman called in a bomb threat. Loyal employee? Yes. Terrorist? No. Trollop? Definitely.
Miami International Airport officials received a call and an e-mail claiming that a bomb was on an American Airlines plane. Police searched the specified aircraft but didn’t find a bomb.
The e-mail was eventually tracked to the woman’s computer. Upon questioning by police, she reportedly told police that her boss had been booked on the flight to Honduras, but she had caused him to be late for the flight. She thought the bomb threat would give her boss time to make it.
Thus the old adage remains true: Nothing good ever happens on the way to Honduras.
The woman was being held on $7,500 bail, but you can’t put a price tag on impressing your boss.
Trollop.
RELATED LINK: Cops: Woman makes threat to delay flight
Shotgun Shootin’, Party Bustin’ Trollop
Nov 18th
A sure-fire way kill a party is when someone says “let’s do a shotgun round,” you pull out bullets instead of Miller Lite.
Party-goers in Fort Pierce, Florida, had to call it an early night after a trollop fired a shotgun to get people away from her house.
Telisha Rena Richmond, first called 911 because, according to an affidavit, “people from a party down the street” were parking in her yard.
Officers asked the people to move their cars. The impolite parkers allegedly began yelling at Richmond, who responded by grabbing her shotgun and firing it into the air.
Richmond said she’d imbibed “at least” six beers before the incident. Shocker. She was arrested on charges of firing a weapon in public and disorderly intoxication.
Trollop.
RELATED LINK: Fort Pierce woman arrested after she said she fired shotgun to get partiers to move
Pay for company & the Trolloping is free
Nov 16th
The next time you hear a woman say “a penny for your thoughts,” make sure she wants to pick your brain and isn’t propositioning you for sex.
A trollop in Leesburg, Florida attempted to bring a new business tactic to the world’s oldest profession. Unfortunately, her test subject was an undercover police officer.
“I don’t take money for sex,” Ashley M. Hollin, 26, told police. “I take money for company, and the sex is free.”
Hollin’s winning strategy was hatched after being arrested for prostitution earlier in the day.
According to a police report, Hollin told the officer she had learned something from her earlier arrest — accept cash for companionship, not sex.
“See, I learned from making the mistake last night with the police. . . . If I do it this way, they can’t get me for it,” Hollin said, according to a police report.
She was promptly arrested on prostitution-related charges.
Florida men must now look elsewhere for a $50 conversation about 18th century poetry and free pussy.
RELATED LINK: Prostitution suspect: ‘I take money for company . . . sex is free’
Trollop of the Deep Blue Sea
Nov 12th
Tampa International Airport is a nice place. The terminals are pretty clean, there’s a good shopping area, and there are tropical fish in large aquariums to delight travelers.
Scratch that: There were tropical fish.
Today’s trollop is 36-year-old Yamile Campuzno-Martine, who’s not earning any points with that name. She lost control of her pickup truck – a favorite vehicle of trollops – and crashed into a $200,000 1,500 aquarium. Nearly all the fish in the tank were killed.
That’s bad. But what elevates her to true trollop status is that she had a six-year-old boy in her lap at the time. Unrestrained, naturally. The kid is lucky he survived; not so lucky to have sat in the lap of an authentic North American Trollopus Trollopi.
So to sum up: trollop has pick-up truck; trollop places child on lap; trollop drives pick-up truck to Tampa International; trollop endangers several species of fish. Sounds about right. Sounds like she’s headed to jail. Where she’ll become fresh fish herself.
Trollop.
RELATED LINK: Woman drives into aquarium at Tampa airport
You May Now Kiss The Trollop
Nov 11th
Tasha Johnson and Markeith Brown seem like any newlywed couple. But there’s a terrible twist. The bride… is a trollop.
The two were married in Tampa this weekend at the Rusty Pelican, a restaurant whose name sounds like a deviant sex act. All was going well when, a few hours into the reception, the groom threw some money on the dance floor for children to collect up.
One guest became upset, and the groom and his brother confronted the man, asking him to leave. A fight broke up, involving a great many of the guests, and police were called to the scene.
So if the money was thrown by the groom and then he and his brother started the fight with another man, why is the bride a trollop? Easy. Have you ever heard of a wedding not completely planned by the bride? She knew about the money. She caused this. Despite empirical evidence to the contrary, women are smart. They know how people are going to react to things. This bride – no, this TROLLOP – was full aware she was launching a major-league brawl.
Bonus trollop: the female guest who put the groom’s 74-year-old grandmother in a headlock.
RELATED LINK: Wedding goes wild as guests throw punches