A 66-year-old New Albany, Indiana woman gave old people everywhere the blueprint on what to do to keep mangy mutts and childrens’ footballs out of their yards forever.

Cynthia Y. Vetter was arrested around 2:30 Sunday afternoon after a police officer witnessed her firing two shots from a handgun at her neighbor’s dog.  She was taken to jail and faces charges of Criminal Recklessness, a class D felony.

The police officer had been called to Vetter’s address to investigate a neighbor’s dog being in the woman’s yard. While the officer was speaking with the dog’s owner after attempts to speak with the dog itself drew only barks, he saw Vetter step out the front door of her home and fire two shots from a .38 caliber revolver at the dog as the animal was trying to crawl under the fence surrounding Vetter’s yard.

Luckily, Vetter’s hands were shaky from arthritis and the dog that she fired at was not injured.  The dog responded by pooping in her yard out of spite.

Vetter then reportedly ignored the officer’s order to put the gun down and reentered her house to finish watching a classic episode of “Bonanza.”  She was arrested a short time later and the revolver was seized.

Later that day, a baseball was thrown into the yard by neighbor Timmy Stewart, 9, and was not retrieved.

Trollop.

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