You May Now Kiss The Trollop
Nov 11th
Tasha Johnson and Markeith Brown seem like any newlywed couple. But there’s a terrible twist. The bride… is a trollop.
The two were married in Tampa this weekend at the Rusty Pelican, a restaurant whose name sounds like a deviant sex act. All was going well when, a few hours into the reception, the groom threw some money on the dance floor for children to collect up.
One guest became upset, and the groom and his brother confronted the man, asking him to leave. A fight broke up, involving a great many of the guests, and police were called to the scene.
So if the money was thrown by the groom and then he and his brother started the fight with another man, why is the bride a trollop? Easy. Have you ever heard of a wedding not completely planned by the bride? She knew about the money. She caused this. Despite empirical evidence to the contrary, women are smart. They know how people are going to react to things. This bride – no, this TROLLOP – was full aware she was launching a major-league brawl.
Bonus trollop: the female guest who put the groom’s 74-year-old grandmother in a headlock.
RELATED LINK: Wedding goes wild as guests throw punches
Warden Trollop
Oct 22nd
How bad is your marriage when you’d prefer jail to living with your wife (though aren’t jail and marriage usually one and the same)?
Santo Gambino, a Sicilian man who did time for dumping hazardous waste, tried to get himself arrested again so he wouldn’t have to put up with his wife while under house arrest.
On first thought it seems crazy, but isn’t jail just one big sports bar with male on male rape? You get a square meal, have access to a weight room, can watch and play sports, laugh with the guys about sexual exploits and instead of talking about which waitress or bartender you want to bang, substitute that with tomboyish female guard or prison bitch.
It sure beats listening to your wife drone on forever about day-to-day banalities, like taking out the garbage, cleaning the gutters, or paying for the upkeep of your children, as was the case with Gambino.
Police accused him of violating the terms of his sentence and made him go home and patch things up with his wife. Unfortunate, since he’ll now have to hear her constant nagging and wont have the option to blow off some steam in the yard by hitting on a prison bitch.
Trollop.
RELATED LINK: Sicilian prefers prison to house arrest with wife