Boxcar Trollop
Feb 19th
An Albertville, Alabama woman wrongly assumed that, since her daughter was removed safely from her box once, she’d be unharmed after a second attempt.
Jackie Denise Knott, 37, was arrested for having her 13-year-old daughter ride in a cardboard box atop her van. Police said Knott was charged with endangering the welfare of a child.
Police received a call Sunday morning of a minivan traveling on U.S. 431 with a large cardboard box on top with a child inside. Officers stopped the van on U.S. 431 and asked Knott why the child was riding atop her vehicle.
“The box was too big to go inside the van, and she would be able to hold it down if she was inside the box,” Knott told police. “Also, I saw them do it in ‘Teen Wolf’ and my daughter is about the same size as Michael J. Fox.”
Knott told the officers that she had the box secured to the van with a clothes hanger.
The child was turned over to a relative who will only allow her to ride on top of a car in a box once it’s been secured with duct tape.
Trollop.
RELATED LINK: Woman charged for having child ride in box atop van
Pot Brownie Trollop
Feb 16th
A Paisley, FL woman proved the only kind of weed an elderly person should have is one they plucked from their backyard garden.
Karen Spencer, 43, was chargd with food tampering and elderly abuse after she gave her mother a cookie baked with marijuana.
Spencer’s party pooper son told deputies he saw his mom give his grandmother a marijuana cookie without telling his grandmother what was in it.
The son’s girlfriend, another witness, said Spencer told the victim the cookie would help her feel better. She said after the victim ate the cookie, Spencer told her it was a “pot cookie.”
Both witnesses said the victim put on a Peter, Paul, and Mary record and ate a tub of sour cream before having heart palpitations. She was taken to the hospital on what was sure to be a trippy ambulance ride.
Spencer told deputies she only gave her mother a small portion of the cookie and did not mean to make her sick. Also, the cookie was high in fiber.
Deputies said Spencer bogarted the remaining marijuana cookies before they arrived.
Trollop.
RELATED LINK: Deputies: Woman Gave Mom ‘Pot Cookie’
Bomb Threat Trollop
Dec 2nd
For years, women have had to deal with a glass ceiling at the work place. A trollop in Miami figured out the best way to bust through it was with a bomb. Or at least the threat of one.
In an attempt to delay a flight that her boss might miss, the unnamed woman called in a bomb threat. Loyal employee? Yes. Terrorist? No. Trollop? Definitely.
Miami International Airport officials received a call and an e-mail claiming that a bomb was on an American Airlines plane. Police searched the specified aircraft but didn’t find a bomb.
The e-mail was eventually tracked to the woman’s computer. Upon questioning by police, she reportedly told police that her boss had been booked on the flight to Honduras, but she had caused him to be late for the flight. She thought the bomb threat would give her boss time to make it.
Thus the old adage remains true: Nothing good ever happens on the way to Honduras.
The woman was being held on $7,500 bail, but you can’t put a price tag on impressing your boss.
Trollop.
RELATED LINK: Cops: Woman makes threat to delay flight
Trollop of the Deep Blue Sea
Nov 12th
Tampa International Airport is a nice place. The terminals are pretty clean, there’s a good shopping area, and there are tropical fish in large aquariums to delight travelers.
Scratch that: There were tropical fish.
Today’s trollop is 36-year-old Yamile Campuzno-Martine, who’s not earning any points with that name. She lost control of her pickup truck – a favorite vehicle of trollops – and crashed into a $200,000 1,500 aquarium. Nearly all the fish in the tank were killed.
That’s bad. But what elevates her to true trollop status is that she had a six-year-old boy in her lap at the time. Unrestrained, naturally. The kid is lucky he survived; not so lucky to have sat in the lap of an authentic North American Trollopus Trollopi.
So to sum up: trollop has pick-up truck; trollop places child on lap; trollop drives pick-up truck to Tampa International; trollop endangers several species of fish. Sounds about right. Sounds like she’s headed to jail. Where she’ll become fresh fish herself.
Trollop.
RELATED LINK: Woman drives into aquarium at Tampa airport
Stripper Mom Trollop
Nov 6th
It’s tough to take care of your children when you’re a mother on the go-go.
Fiordaliza Collado-Ramirez of Palm Bay, Florida found that out the hard way after being arrested and charged with child neglect after leaving her children home alone so she can go to work at a local strip club.
From the news item:
Police went to an apartment in the 300 block of Mercury Avenue at about 10:30 p.m. Thursday after a neighbor called and said one child — a 5-year-old girl — was on a balcony.
The other child, a 4-year-old girl, was ill and lying on a couch, police said.
Officers responded to Bare Assets Gentleman Club, 4020 New Haven Ave., West Melbourne and arrested Collado-Ramirez.
Say what you will about the parenting skills of the late Michael Jackson, but at least he was holding his child while dangling it on the balcony.
Mom, of course, had a logical explanation: The babysitter usually comes on Wednesdays, but it was Thursday and she hadn’t made arrangements. So instead of finding a replacement sitter or leaving the children with a trusted neighbor or family member, she let them stay alone because she was late for work.
The Department of Children and Family Services took custody of the children and will be conducting a follow up investigation. We’re sure her kids will become well-adjusted adults.
Trollop.
RELATED LINK: Cops: Mom left 2 kids home alone to work at strip club