Doggy Style Trrrrrrrrollop
Oct 28th
Here’s a “dog” of a “tail” that’s been “woofed” to us from “Athens, Georgia.”
It seems a “bitch” was in her “dog house” when a “stray” human – a homeless “rrrrrrrobberrrrrrrr” – tried turning this woman’s door knob.
Talk about “ruff” luck!
Anyway, according to the Associated Press: “The woman got on the floor and began scratching at the door and acting like a large dog when the suspicious man tried turning the woman’s door knob. The police report did not say what specific dog-like behaviors, such as barking, the woman mimicked.”
The man ran away with his “tail” between his “hind legs.” Police couldn’t find him. Maybe they shoulda brought out the K-9s!
So why does this woman earn a spot on Trollop Watch? After all, she was ostensibly just protecting her home. The answer is: we here at TW do not believe she knew there was a burglar. We believe she just wanders around her house playing “Dog,” and just so happened to scare away a burglar – who probably figured, “This broad’s liable to give me rabies.” Or something.
Trrrrrrrrrollop.
RELATED LINK: Ga. woman scares off burglar by acting like a dog
McTrollop’s
Oct 21st
Today’s trollop comes to us from Alpharetta, Georgia, where 39-year-old Nicole Gomez yelled swears and assaulted a man when another restaurant customer turned around to look at her.
The other customer: a five-year-old girl eating with her dad. The restaurant: McDonald’s.
Here’s what happened: the girl turned around in her bench and looked at Gomez, who told the dad the girl was “[expletive] with her.” (Quotes come from an Atlanta Journal-Constitution story.) The dad, Ken Garrison, told Gomez she was being overly sensitive, and she called him a “bitch.”
Understandably Garrison moved himself and his daughter to a table further from Gomez. Later he refilled his drink and told her again she’d been overly sensitive; she told him to “get out of my face, bitch.” When Garrison went to leave, Gomez threw her drink at him, ice cubes and all. He had the manager call the police.
From the article:
In 1998, Gomez was sentenced to six years in prison on child cruelty charges after pleading guilty to abandoning her newborn daughter in a Dumpster at the Clayton County apartment complex where she was living at the time. The baby survived, and Gomez was released from prison in 2002.
Trollop.
RELATED LINK: Child’s stare sparks restaurant argument
Adult Entertainment Trollop
Oct 19th
Ah, the simple joys of childhood. Little league, catching fireflies on a summer night, recess in the playground, and watching pornography outside your neighbors window after school.
That was the case in Grand Forks, ND, where a woman who lives net to an elementary school was charged with disorderly conduct after porn was allegedly playing on her television with her front door open and volume at a maximum level.
Employees at the school reported the loud, conspicuous pornography out of concerns for students who were arriving in the morning. While I like to watch hard core porn with my morning bowl of raisin bran as much as the next guy, I usually shut the blinds and listen at a reasonable volume.
Though one might say the kids were going to find out about the birds and the bees eventually anyways, conventional wisdom says to leave such things as double penetration up to the imagination until they turn 13 at least.
To top things off, when police arrived at the house, she physically resisted the officers. She was extracted by force and proceeded to bite the officer’s arm, kick him in the groin, and spit in his face.
Fluid exchange of any kid from this woman might be cause for alarm, but she did her best to eloquently dispel any fears during her hearing.
“I have a cold and don’t believe I touched anybody’s skin when I spit on the cop that I did,” she said.
You could likely substitute the word “cold” for the phrase “lack of brain function” and get a more accurate description of this trollop. So next time you want to get kinky and there is a possibility of a group of children walking by your house, draw the blinds, please.
RELATED LINK: GF woman accused of showing porn video from window, assaulting cop
Burlington Trollop Factory
Oct 15th
Imagine you’re shopping at the Burlington Coat Factory. Like the other customers, you are both cold and a touch low class. Hey, it’s Burlington! And because you’re shopping there, you’re probably also of average-or-worse intelligence.
So when the woman shows up in a limo and announces to the store she’s a lottery winner, and will buy coats for everybody, you get on the phone and tell as many local relatives and friends as possible to haul ass to the store. After all, this is everybody’s chance to sport a splendid $80 faux fur knee-length slightly damaged purple coat!
This was the scene that unfolded at a Burlington Coat Factory in Ohio. Five hundred people filled the store, and another 1,000 waited outside. It was beautiful, man, all these people, united in the common goodness of man just because a lottery winner decided she wanted to share.
Or not.
The woman, who was wanted on three outstanding warrants, was not a lottery winner at all. No, after she had been arrested, after the fracas turned into a riot with angry customers taking merchandise without paying, police speculated she may have even been mentally ill. Moreso than other trollops, I mean. Her limo driver turned her in. I don’t know the driver’s gender, but that could be another trollop right there.