Crazy Trollop
Dog Shooting Trollop
Feb 22nd
A 66-year-old New Albany, Indiana woman gave old people everywhere the blueprint on what to do to keep mangy mutts and childrens’ footballs out of their yards forever.
Cynthia Y. Vetter was arrested around 2:30 Sunday afternoon after a police officer witnessed her firing two shots from a handgun at her neighbor’s dog. She was taken to jail and faces charges of Criminal Recklessness, a class D felony.
The police officer had been called to Vetter’s address to investigate a neighbor’s dog being in the woman’s yard. While the officer was speaking with the dog’s owner after attempts to speak with the dog itself drew only barks, he saw Vetter step out the front door of her home and fire two shots from a .38 caliber revolver at the dog as the animal was trying to crawl under the fence surrounding Vetter’s yard.
Luckily, Vetter’s hands were shaky from arthritis and the dog that she fired at was not injured. The dog responded by pooping in her yard out of spite.
Vetter then reportedly ignored the officer’s order to put the gun down and reentered her house to finish watching a classic episode of “Bonanza.” She was arrested a short time later and the revolver was seized.
Later that day, a baseball was thrown into the yard by neighbor Timmy Stewart, 9, and was not retrieved.
Trollop.
RELATED LINK: Woman arrested after firing shots at neighbor’s dog in officer’s presence
Boxcar Trollop
Feb 19th
An Albertville, Alabama woman wrongly assumed that, since her daughter was removed safely from her box once, she’d be unharmed after a second attempt.
Jackie Denise Knott, 37, was arrested for having her 13-year-old daughter ride in a cardboard box atop her van. Police said Knott was charged with endangering the welfare of a child.
Police received a call Sunday morning of a minivan traveling on U.S. 431 with a large cardboard box on top with a child inside. Officers stopped the van on U.S. 431 and asked Knott why the child was riding atop her vehicle.
“The box was too big to go inside the van, and she would be able to hold it down if she was inside the box,” Knott told police. “Also, I saw them do it in ‘Teen Wolf’ and my daughter is about the same size as Michael J. Fox.”
Knott told the officers that she had the box secured to the van with a clothes hanger.
The child was turned over to a relative who will only allow her to ride on top of a car in a box once it’s been secured with duct tape.
Trollop.
RELATED LINK: Woman charged for having child ride in box atop van
Jesus Christ Trollopstar
Dec 7th
In a modern day Christmas tale, Jesus Christ was once again turned away close to a birthday. Only this time, it’s an Alabama woman named Jesus who was rejected from a jury, not a place to stay.
Court officials say a Birmingham woman who changed her name to Jesus Christ didn’t live up to it when she reported for jury duty this week. The woman, previously named Dorothy Lola Killingworth, was sent to Judge Clyde Jones’s courtroom for a criminal case Monday.
The 59-year-old was excused because she was disruptive , kept asking questions instead of answering them, and was trying to turn everyone’s water into wine.
Court administrator Sandra Turner said people there were shocked when the woman insisted her name was Jesus Christ and some potential jurors laughed out loud when her name was called.
It’s unclear whether or not the woman adopted the 12 chosen jurors as her apostles.
Efforts to reach Christ for comment were unsuccessful.
RELATED LINK: Jesus Christ Dumped From Jury Pool
Anti-Smoking Trollop
Nov 9th
Don’t smoke ‘em if you got ‘em in Niceville, Florida, especially not around one anti-smoking trollop who was apprehended after attacking a smoker with air freshener.
Police were called to an apartment complex in Niceville, Fla. where they found a woman spraying a 9 ounce can of “Glade Potpourri Air Freshener” around another woman’s head, the Northwest Florida Daily News of Fort Walton Beach reported.
In addition to being an anti-smoker, she’s also anti-being-a-decent-human-being. Instead of asking the woman if she could blow her butt a few feet away, or to put it out, the logical alternative for this bitch was to spray her with a chemical for nearly a minute.
The police report quoted the sprayer saying she’ll continue to spray the air freshener and threatened she’d take the case all the way to the Supreme Court, maintaining her right to breathe fresh air. Of course, she never mentioned a person’s right to not be sprayed in the face with air freshener, which is the 16th amendment.
This was the second time the woman had attacked the other woman with air freshener for smoking in front of her apartment.
Trollop.
RELATED LINK: Woman Arrested For Attacking Smoker With Air Freshener
Mother-Daughter Trollops
Nov 4th
Sometimes, the trollop apple doesn’t fall far from the trollop tree.
A domestic dispute between a Eustis, Florida mother and daughter led to both of them being put in jail and charged with battery.
Lisa W. Johnson, 46, and her biological daughter, Jessica Marie Fixl, 25, broke out into fisticuffs over a man with whom they had both been having sexual relations.
Richard Bowman, the man involved and the envy of every guy who frequents the local VFW in Eustis, had been living with Johnson as a couple for a year. When Johnson recently went to jail, Fixl carried on the rich family tradition of trollopy and began screwing her mother’s boyfriend, according to the affidavit.
Johnson eventually returned from jail, leading to a sticky situation at the homestead. Things came to a head when, in a ballsy move, Johnson grabbed her man’s testicles and wouldn’t let go. At one point, she said she was going to “rip them off,” according to Bowman’s account. In response, her daughter did the logical thing by punching her in the forehead.
The ensuing melee left Fixl with blood on her fingernails and a ring that was missing stones, which caused a cut on Johnson’s forehead (as seen in the mugshot).
Now, they’ll get to spend time in jail as a family.
Mom was arrested on a charge of felony domestic simple battery on Bowman. It’s a felony charge because she was convicted of criminal domestic abuse in 1991 and convicted of battery in early September.
Daughter was arrested and charged with domestic battery upon her mother because police said Bowman could defend himself against Johnson.
The old saying is true, after all: The family that commits battery and sleeps with the same man together, stays together.
Trollops.
RELATED LINK: Family feud: Eustis mom, daughter jailed in fight over same man