World Series Trollop
Oct 27th
As America has its eyes set on what is sure to be an exciting World Series between the Philadelphia Phillies and the New York Yankees, people in both cities are clamoring to get tickets. One trollop hailing from Philadelphia, however, got arrested because her idea of a Fall Classic was prostituting herself for an hour or two.
From the news item:
Susan Finkelstein, 43, was charged with prostitution and related offenses after police say she advertised herself as a buxom, blond, die-hard Phillies fan who was desperately seeking World Series tickets and would have sex to get them.
In other words, she was arrested for being both cheap and a whore. You really couldn’t just spring for the tickets? You’d rather let a stranger violate your body instead of racking up a charge card bill?
Look, lady, We’re a strong proponent of woman receiving anal in exchange for tickets to a sporting event. But maybe next time you can go about it in a more discrete fashion. Ask your co-workers and friends if they are willing to give up their seats along the third base line for a romp in the hay. Don’t leave a paper trail if you want to polish your neighbor’s knob for an Eagles wild card game.
For what it’s worth, the woman looks attractive enough to sleep with. But she’d probably only agree to perform outercourse since the only baseball tickets we ever buy are to Pittsburgh Pirates games.
She was charged with soliciting prostitution and related offenses. Though trollopy, we say let the woman screw for tickets and arrest real criminals, like women who give sex in exchange for a sissy sport like soccer.
RELATED LINK: Woman Accused of Offering Sex for World Series Tickets on Craigslist
Taxi Fare Trollop
Oct 26th
When you take a taxi cab ride worth $142 and the only payment you can give the driver is pepper spray to the face, chances are you’re a trollop.
Such was the case in New York City, a town that has the most trollops per capita in the United States according to a poll that we just made up. Amina Williams asked a the cabby to take her from the Hilton New York Hotel on Sixth Avenue in Manhattan to Melville, NY. It was a smooth ride, but when it came time to collect the fare, Williams offered to pay only $80.
The driver, Alexander Oseimensuo, stood his ground and tried to take one of her bags until she paid the full amount. Williams responded by pulling out pepper spray and shooting it in his face.
Though the possibility exists that in her trollopy mind, Williams was simply using an unorthodox method of foreplay in an attempt to pay the remaining fair via sexual favors, she never stated as such to police.
Police charged Williams with third-degree assault and unlawful possession of noxious material. The guess here is that the fines and legal fees will total more than $142.
Kudos to the cab driver, who stood up to this trollop and was one pepper spray shot away from a Great Moment in Trollop History.
RELATED LINK: Cops: Taxi passenger assaulted driver in Melville