Trollop
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Milk Squirting Trollop
Mar 8th
Advice for future police officers: Never mention you’re thirsty while detaining a woman who has recently given birth.
Toni Tramel, a 31-year-old Owensboro, Kentucky woman, was initially jailed on a misdemeanor public intoxication. She then confused an officer with her infant child. As she was changing into an inmate uniform, she squirted breast milk into the face of a female deputy who was with her. Tramel said she used milk as a last resort after forgetting her Trick Squirt Flower at home.
Tramel now faces a felony charge of third degree assault on a police officer. Her bond was set at $10,000.
The officer said the milk was a too sweet for her since she was bottle fed as a child.
Trollop.
RELATED LINK: Inmate squirts breast milk on deputy
Dog Shooting Trollop
Feb 22nd
A 66-year-old New Albany, Indiana woman gave old people everywhere the blueprint on what to do to keep mangy mutts and childrens’ footballs out of their yards forever.
Cynthia Y. Vetter was arrested around 2:30 Sunday afternoon after a police officer witnessed her firing two shots from a handgun at her neighbor’s dog. She was taken to jail and faces charges of Criminal Recklessness, a class D felony.
The police officer had been called to Vetter’s address to investigate a neighbor’s dog being in the woman’s yard. While the officer was speaking with the dog’s owner after attempts to speak with the dog itself drew only barks, he saw Vetter step out the front door of her home and fire two shots from a .38 caliber revolver at the dog as the animal was trying to crawl under the fence surrounding Vetter’s yard.
Luckily, Vetter’s hands were shaky from arthritis and the dog that she fired at was not injured. The dog responded by pooping in her yard out of spite.
Vetter then reportedly ignored the officer’s order to put the gun down and reentered her house to finish watching a classic episode of “Bonanza.” She was arrested a short time later and the revolver was seized.
Later that day, a baseball was thrown into the yard by neighbor Timmy Stewart, 9, and was not retrieved.
Trollop.
RELATED LINK: Woman arrested after firing shots at neighbor’s dog in officer’s presence
Boxcar Trollop
Feb 19th
An Albertville, Alabama woman wrongly assumed that, since her daughter was removed safely from her box once, she’d be unharmed after a second attempt.
Jackie Denise Knott, 37, was arrested for having her 13-year-old daughter ride in a cardboard box atop her van. Police said Knott was charged with endangering the welfare of a child.
Police received a call Sunday morning of a minivan traveling on U.S. 431 with a large cardboard box on top with a child inside. Officers stopped the van on U.S. 431 and asked Knott why the child was riding atop her vehicle.
“The box was too big to go inside the van, and she would be able to hold it down if she was inside the box,” Knott told police. “Also, I saw them do it in ‘Teen Wolf’ and my daughter is about the same size as Michael J. Fox.”
Knott told the officers that she had the box secured to the van with a clothes hanger.
The child was turned over to a relative who will only allow her to ride on top of a car in a box once it’s been secured with duct tape.
Trollop.
RELATED LINK: Woman charged for having child ride in box atop van
Pot Brownie Trollop
Feb 16th
A Paisley, FL woman proved the only kind of weed an elderly person should have is one they plucked from their backyard garden.
Karen Spencer, 43, was chargd with food tampering and elderly abuse after she gave her mother a cookie baked with marijuana.
Spencer’s party pooper son told deputies he saw his mom give his grandmother a marijuana cookie without telling his grandmother what was in it.
The son’s girlfriend, another witness, said Spencer told the victim the cookie would help her feel better. She said after the victim ate the cookie, Spencer told her it was a “pot cookie.”
Both witnesses said the victim put on a Peter, Paul, and Mary record and ate a tub of sour cream before having heart palpitations. She was taken to the hospital on what was sure to be a trippy ambulance ride.
Spencer told deputies she only gave her mother a small portion of the cookie and did not mean to make her sick. Also, the cookie was high in fiber.
Deputies said Spencer bogarted the remaining marijuana cookies before they arrived.
Trollop.
RELATED LINK: Deputies: Woman Gave Mom ‘Pot Cookie’
Jesus Christ Trollopstar
Dec 7th
In a modern day Christmas tale, Jesus Christ was once again turned away close to a birthday. Only this time, it’s an Alabama woman named Jesus who was rejected from a jury, not a place to stay.
Court officials say a Birmingham woman who changed her name to Jesus Christ didn’t live up to it when she reported for jury duty this week. The woman, previously named Dorothy Lola Killingworth, was sent to Judge Clyde Jones’s courtroom for a criminal case Monday.
The 59-year-old was excused because she was disruptive , kept asking questions instead of answering them, and was trying to turn everyone’s water into wine.
Court administrator Sandra Turner said people there were shocked when the woman insisted her name was Jesus Christ and some potential jurors laughed out loud when her name was called.
It’s unclear whether or not the woman adopted the 12 chosen jurors as her apostles.
Efforts to reach Christ for comment were unsuccessful.
RELATED LINK: Jesus Christ Dumped From Jury Pool