Imagine you’re shopping at the Burlington Coat Factory.  Like the other customers, you are both cold and a touch low class.  Hey, it’s Burlington!  And because you’re shopping there, you’re probably also of average-or-worse intelligence.

So when the woman shows up in a limo and announces to the store she’s a lottery winner, and will buy coats for everybody, you get on the phone and tell as many local relatives and friends as possible to haul ass to the store.  After all, this is everybody’s chance to sport a splendid $80 faux fur knee-length slightly damaged purple coat!

This was the scene that unfolded at a Burlington Coat Factory in Ohio.  Five hundred people filled the store, and another 1,000 waited outside.  It was beautiful, man, all these people, united in the common goodness of man just because a lottery winner decided she wanted to share.

Or not.

The woman, who was wanted on three outstanding warrants, was not a lottery winner at all.  No, after she had been arrested, after the fracas turned into a riot with angry customers taking merchandise without paying, police speculated she may have even been mentally ill.  Moreso than other trollops, I mean.  Her limo driver turned her in.  I don’t know the driver’s gender, but that could be another trollop right there.

LINK:  “Lottery winner” causes riot at Ohio coat store